


Heartbeat

by FastAndAdrift



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bruce Banner Feels, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Bruce Banner-centric, Dom Loki (Marvel), Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Everyone Needs A Hug, Extremely Dubious Consent, Gay Sex, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Light BDSM, Loki (Marvel) Does What He Wants, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, M/M, Protective Avengers, Protective Bruce Banner, Science Bros, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 17:35:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25160230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FastAndAdrift/pseuds/FastAndAdrift
Summary: Hulk is not a toy, Bruce knows better than to give it away as a hound. But as soon as Loki shows up, the choice doesn't seem so straightforward. Maybe even the god knows what to do with it more than Bruce knows himself. Still, magic is fantastic, but that's not the only reason why Bruce accepted Loki's cunning pact.(The chapters are better than this hastily written summary.I'm not known for selling my long 100k+ fictions in a few words.Try it and see what you think ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ ) )Loki\Bruce Banner aka GammaFrost...Follows The Avengers (2012) like a glove.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Loki, Loki/The Other (Marvel)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	1. -One-

It had been so close, for the plans of Loki, and his aliens to be successful in New York City. 

Bruce had not signed up to become what he was, he had to wonder what kind of person would allow such a thing. Whether he talks about his identity as a new Avenger or his alter ego, the responsibilities are just as daunting. So much so that his past was only just beginning to haunt him. In this life of an Avenger, stories like this are bound to multiply. But there was something fascinating about the concept of the Nordic gods. Bruce being curious by nature, could not find the explanation that allows these gods to be real beings when most ubiquitous entities seem to be reserved for the terrestrial world. Folklore being only a magnificent book of fiction, he considers himself only religious towards science. It was therefore not possible for him to find an explanation for these gods. It hadn't been the first time that the Asgardians had set foot on the ground, or at least that's what Thor had so clearly explained between two frugally eaten chicken thighs. 

The doctor did not necessarily feel reassured by the mere existence of gods more powerful than anyone else, granted that their power was drawn from ignorance. But he wasn't as alarmed as Fury had seemed, though, this whole adventure had given them all intense headaches. The pressure and the "what if" had the power to keep them awake, provided that their own demons were dormant.

Bruce couldn't say what first attracted him to the Odinson brothers, the scientist in him couldn't grasp that magic has become more than just a concept. Even though the Tesseract and the Hulk, being objects of science, but powerful so well in a quantifiable source of such magic. Although the Hulk is from an organic source, Bruce has no idea how even breathe since his incident. With quantum logic and endless growing muscle mass, the effort of transformation was so intense that he could not deny it was indeed biological. There had to be more to it, for he was lacking in answers.

Thor seemed as noisy as a jock, so the notion of magic seemed almost basic to him. If he had any knowledge of how his own abilities worked, he hadn't taken the time to brag about it. But Bruce had seen the notion of a heart behind the thin words. In fact, he wondered how two people so different could be related. While genetics might have jumped generations, there were too many dissimilarities between the two gods.

That's why when he heard the sloppy adoption comment, Bruce had no doubt that Loki was simply what Thor is not. If the tall blond guy is all heart and courage. Loki seems only his antagonist, searching for his own identity in his brother's rebellion. Bruce can barely understand why he didn't use his magic. Or at least so little of it. Is this a preference for not using his energy? A personal choice perhaps ? It was merely theories, probably just thoughts about the unexplainable choices of the past. But the thought itself of how detached Loki had seemed to the team kept him awake. The God of Chaos had only used the items that the earth provided him with. Someone else's weapons, words he'd only listened to from Clint's mouth to make them better. Why did he try to dominate a world he did not know? It's not a cultivated hatred, so it seemed he only hated his brother, his family. Asgard had no connections to the earth, or that he knew of. Bruce had not been the most surprised to have been used as a distraction in the Quinjet, in retrospect, what supervillain wasn't going to use the bomb already on board to destroy them from the inside? It was a much easier task than infiltrating another when they were all so vigilant. 

Even using the monstrous side of his person had not hurt him any more than he would have hurt himself. Despite the fact that Bruce wasn't proud to wear the Avengers badge on his blazer, it did give him access to Stark Ind toys and weekly news about Ross and Betty. It was sugar coating to say that the team wasn't doing well. After the New York incident, they all counted on Bruce to populate the walls of the tower. So long as Rogers and Natasha were just looking for a soldier of myth. Tony only stopped by once a month to check on the projects between his new villa and the international trips that the management of a multinational corporation required of him. God only knows what Clint is up to outside of those moments when he isn't here to bring him a pizza in comfortable silence. 

Bruce doesn't consider himself a victim of this scenario, he knows very well that imagining that they were going to spend time together in the tower was a very naive dream. He rarely gets to see more than one of them at a time anyway.

As well as a part of him appreciates that trust and loneliness. If it wasn't for the others, Bruce would have gone back as far as planet earth would allow. The protection that Stark's signature on the Avengers Initiative contracts brought him was neat, but Banner credits himself with being sharper than believing that the idea of a character as colorful as Iron Man will keep the big bad Ross in the bay. It's not the four secretaries at the front desk who will know what to do with the sergeant's missiles, or at least that's what Bruce thinks to justify the fact that he still hasn't unpacked any of the clothes from his bag. It had been months since the team had given in to the passage of time. Iron man and Iron patriot had found time to destroy regular threats, and a particular spider that Antony had talked to him over coffee seemed to be taking all the work out of New York City. However, although the Hulk was just a time bomb, he was not for the delicate type of mission.

-No one would want to replay the damage in Harlem. - He wouldn't allow himself to take on any mission he knew Fury and Maria Hill were keeping for him. The Hulk wasn't some weapon, pointed and fired. They'd barely come close to pointing a threat at him.

All the more reason for Bruce to feel like a fraud. He can no longer count on his fingers the number of sleepless nights spent alone in the lab with DUM-E and JARVIS as company. So much so that the idea of calling any avenger is no longer a possibility. He doesn't feel important enough, he doesn't follow any mission. The only one he remembers following by himself was to flee from the authorities, but even that only served as a survival instinct. Bruce doesn't consider himself a hero at all, and he thinks he's proven it so often that he wonders why people continue to trust him. Maybe that's all they needed, a lousy guard to watch over the tallest tower in town. 

Those nights spent, where he ignores the daylight pointing at his nose, and where the night is too short, simply because he feels so lonely that it awakens his creativity.  
If he's honest with himself, the only reason he knows when it's time to stop for sleep and food is because of the AI that serves as an alarm. He knows very well that after three days without sleep and a minimum of food has left him bitter. The Hulk liked him too much in those moments, so close to the surface, ready to jump for any noise that's too much. Loneliness sheltered him as much as it protected the state of New York. In his moments like that, it was a few nights in the anti-hulk room that he found a cozy nest. For a sense of control over at least one thing in his life. 

  
Bruce hadn't thought about the possibility that Thor, -or even Loki- would return to earth anytime soon. The solitude and silence was all too peaceful, but evenhe could understand the principle of calm before the storm. 

The days follow each other, the news is no longer worth listening to, the podcasts are all the more informative. If someone would tell him that he's been chained in a time loop since the end of the New York attack, Bruce would actually consider it.

Maybe that's why he didn't react as quickly as he should have. 

Maybe somewhere inside him, he's been waiting for this moment for a long time. Only he knows how long it's taken the Hulk to taunt him since his last outing. Just ignoring him for a few days was enough to return him to his usual position as a passive observer. Still, he knew how to take the space he wanted and if the opportunity arose. 

All he remembers is the adrenaline he felt pop in his ears.   
As he was about to get a cup of coffee, a voice as soft and harsh had found its way into his skull. A voice that he had only heard through a microphone and speaker from several meters away. A voice the Hulk knew more than he did, and he couldn't have been more intrigued by the reflection. So much so that Hulk knew no one more than he did. 

Loki's voice had resounded so clearly that Bruce was convinced it wasn't a recording. The god was somewhere in the room, while Bruce had his back to the whole room. So it was one of the first things he had learned over time, being with his back to Loki didn't seem to be an advantage or a disadvantage. Loki knew the repercussions of the Hulk, but nothing violent was going on for bruce to feel like Loki wanted to activate the green behemoth. In fact, if Loki hadn't been...-Loki.- Bruce would only have taken this attempt as one of the most normal in the world.

A conversation over coffee, like the hundreds he had previously shared with the people he loved. 

But it was Loki, bruce couldn't lie to himself that the idea of having the god present in the kitchen was lighting up his brain at a thousand miles an hour, more than it had been since..too long.

<< Good morning Dr.Banner, had begun the sweet gritty melody of the god,

Bruce didn't need to ask to know that the god had a specific idea in mind about how their interaction should take place. And the idea of him putting himself in danger trying to figure out how had never been more appealing. All the questions cumulated with the sleepless nights seemed to fight as hard as the Hulk for their turn.

-Loki. The name had rolled off his lips quickly, like a convenience. 

The rationality of his avenger training dictated that he should ask JARVIS to activate the green code, or get help from anyone who wasn't a time bomb, there were already two too many in the room at that very moment. But the life of a bohemian, of a scientist looking for answers required only one thing. That of continuing to interact until Loki made a choice for them about what kind of encounter they would share. Although Bruce was convinced that Loki hadn't appeared at the enemy tower for a simple coffee and biscuit.

-I can feel the gears of your mind ruminating to find out why I'm here, although the notion is amusing to me, I don't have time for this nonsense. 

Bruce finished filling the coffee cup, figuring that hot coffee was a weapon. Though a meaningless weapon to the fire god. He wonders what makes loki so impatient, it seemed only the archetype of the villain who provided a selection of optional monologue. 

Bruce finally turns around, to see the shadow of the god near the window. He ignores the poignant urge to push him that the Hulk seems excited to attempt. The notion of teleportation had calmed him down quite quickly. He could not ignore the fact that he was not only fighting Loki with the words he had to choose, but convincing a brute like the Hulk of the notion of the safety of others. He felt like the usual brains of the operation, while the Hulk only followed his heart and emotions like a child without inhibitions. 

\- What do you want? Asked the doctor almost timidly, looking for the right words to initiate any conversation, 

Loki crosses his hands together behind his back, bruce only too quickly notices the blood on the inside of his palm. The doctor in him re-evaluates the situation so quickly that he finds the strength to add- Are you hurt?

Loki quickly withdraws his hands from his position, realizing that the light is stronger than he had expected. Bruce observes the leather that seems to mold foreign shapes from Loki's body. The shoulder pads remind him of the stature of a snake, but from behind the straps are less intimidating. He sees the thin line where the costume begins and Loki's body ends. 

-A simple scratch, deign to answer the god between a sigh, simply captivated by the view of Manhattan, Don't be soft, I only need the monster. 

Bruce exhales softly at the mention of the Hulk. It was as he feared. 

-JARVIS, cal- starts with an ounce of anxiety in his voice, to be quickly cut off by the god of malice. 

-Your machine is temporarily mute, we have so little time to lose Dr. Banner. He whistles displeased, he turns around gently, so that Bruce sees the reason for their distance.

Loki has several wounds on his face, a few scratches and dirt, but mostly a thin line of blood from his hair. It is dry and grainy in texture, which worries the doctor about the reason for his visit. It doesn't make sense, Loki wouldn't appear wounded for this fight, he would wait until he was at his best, or Bruce was such a minimal threat that Loki didn't consider him dangerous at all? The contradiction was against everything the god had invested since his first appearance on earth. It's wrong in a way that Bruce doesn't want to consider. Or one that Loki hadn't yet revealed.

-I need the monster's brute strength. I don't need to convince you, you know very well I can go finish what I started, I could start with your team of individuals. Begins Loki, in a battle against time, so that Bruce puts the cup on the counter while the leather boots are lapping the ground in a clear sound of the god's gait.

-How do I know you won't do it afterwards anyway? I have no mercy in an act that changes nothing in the balance. Throws Bruce with the Hulk's exaltation knowing that someone wants him too.

Maybe even an ounce of courage in realizing that he has a chance to have one thing the god desires. 

-You wouldn't know, it's not a game. It's an assault, I might just launch the monster on the city and all you could do is track the damage from the inside. Incapable as a victim. But I can assure you that where I'm going, this town is a long way from that. Declares the confident voice of the megalomaniacal god, 

-What's--Bruce starts to say until he's marvelously cut again, something he considers only normal since he makes himself smaller than the world most of the time.

-Did I not make it clear that we're running out of time? I may well attract the evil I want to destroy right here by your lack of tact. This discussion is a courtesy. Let go the irritated, almost annoyed god. 

Bruce is circling the counter as he nears the end of it. Loki seems to take it as approval to break his personal space because he puts a boot so close to his feet with confidence that Bruce wonders if Loki chose him for a particular reason and not because he was closest available. 

-A strange courtesy, you seem quite desperate, I don't see a spear. That... whatever it is. He gesture quickly, it's just begging me. What have you ever met that is more powerful than you? N- Bruce doesn't know where this suicidal impulse of courage comes from, but he'd like to say it was his lack of sleep that encouraged him. 

-Don't talk about what you don't know. Loki's voice stops harshly towards him, the pause in his silence is grueling. But Loki's haunted gaze finally meets his own. What's your price? 

Bruce only expected a hand against his throat, threats even, or some kind of spell he didn't know existed to attack him. But when the words reach his ears, he's just intrigued. It seems that his bluff worked, strangely enough he can't help but think that this kind of risk was more Stark's stuff. 

-The promise of something against the monster. He said without even thinking about it for a second. The hesitation in Loki's gaze took him by surprise. 

-I promise to investigate the matter if the monster finishes his task as requested. Loki says more seriously than ever, the hand that reaches into the air to wait for his is most intimidating. Bruce knows that everything is going too fast to be left to it with so few details. But promise as well as hope, to the despair of the Hulk who recognizes that he wins as well as loses in a trade like this. Maybe he was more than suicidal, maybe Loki was more lethal than a gun. 

But that was something he wouldn't know until later.

Or never, if they were going somewhere where the Hulk was just a toy. 

Either way it did sound like it'd go his way. Loki's stunning gaze was only the most reassuring, despite the god's sharp smile as their hands met. Bruce only has time to close his eyes as his body gathers a violent shiver. >>


	2. -Two-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce is facing the consequences of his disappearing act. Through fears and the unexpected support of his teammate. Seems like Loki and Hulk share a dirty little secret that they are not in a hurry to share. SHIELD does what they want and Bruce wished he knew what had been the magic words to get out of this intact.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is, right out of the oven for y’all. Continuing the introduction and set up of the story softly. Enjoy!

  
  
  


The rhythm of his heart had beat so hard in his skull that he recalls his heavy thuds for way too long. He remembers only a little, his memory has been hazzy, as it has always been. After the transformations, it's just a habit of being unaware of where he is. So Dr. Banner doesn't question this rough feeling of confusion that greets him when he wakes up. He is experiencing this strange heat wave, the one that reminds him of the way the sea meets the sand tenderly. A satisfaction he doesn't admit to having experienced before. The pain in his bones and muscles being the only pain necessary to keep him in the awareness that the Hulk had made his appearance. It was merely a naughty wink that he wished to get rid of. As well as the subdued rage of having been bottled up for another bad day. In this cage that he was trying to fit in to live in... That hatred, that he felt for the Hulk, but that he never pushed any further than the surface. It was never far from appropriating Banner's emotions out of habit. Those nasty reflexes he'd taken years to rehabilitate. It's not every day that he wakes up feeling so refreshed, he wonders unequivocally what caused this kind of change. He is surprised to feel only the air against his skin on his arms, torso and face, the fabric of his clothes and blankets only alarm him more, the thoughts rushing through his head is quickly that he forgets to breathe. His lungs, don't forget as fast, the soft burn of his forgetfulness tells him that he will now open his eyes suddenly to catch his breath. He only coughs once or twice, while his eyes observe the blur that is the room. 

He approaches one hand slowly towards the coffee table, to fumble blindly for a pair of glasses that is not far away. With joy he recognizes the frame of these under the pulp of his fingers. He reconnects the high definition of the world with the tiredness of his weary heart, whose dizziness is only too quick to make him light-headed. He puts his hand on the cover and the firm mattress, now armed with his vision. He quickly recognizes the walls of a place he hasn't visited in over a year. Memories seem to be slowly forming in the back of his mind. One by one, he recognizes only a few by the idea of searching for his last memory.

He lowers his gaze to his right hand, the one that seems perfectly normal. He can almost feel Loki's hand holding it tight, in what he assumes is a kind of teleportation. The last of his memories before life turns into a twisted dream. The coldness of his thin, firm fingers, which he can't quite keep up with. He feels only a narrow mental wall in his search, he sees only reflections of bright colours and gold. The Hulk did not seem particularly open to sharing his newest adventure. But Bruce doesn't question it too much, knowing that this is often the case.

Panic grips him as he realizes that he has no idea how he got back into the helicarrier, almost as if nothing is the little he remembers. Had the Avengers received a message from JARVIS? Had they saved him from Loki's grasp? The thought was almost disappointing, despite the sigh of relief that escaped at the realization he recognized his location. Perhaps Loki had sent him back here as quickly as he had brought him, now that he had got what he wanted? 

Bruce puts his feet gently on the floor, intimidated by the idea that something is waiting for him the second he leaves the warm comfort of the bed. He would rather take a hot shower to soothe the chilly shiver that doesn't seem to leave his bones. But the lingering bite of doubt and silence is the most distracting. Dread digs into his stomach as his heart weighs down in his chest. 

Did they get his blood while he was unconscious? Were they going to use it as a weapon, or find a way to use it against him? What had they been doing with him all this time? How long has it been? He didn't have time to think it over properly, as the door to the room opened hard with a muffled thud. Four soldiers enters the comfortable silence with the mundane clatter of their equipment and movements. Bruce feels his heart racing, but the notion of awareness is the only thing he can hold on to.

Or that was before Anthony comes storming into the room, ignoring the soldiers as if it were his only mission. He approaches Bruce and the look on his face is not the most reassuring. 

<< **How did you sleep, Goldilocks?** The engineer's gesticulation is a dripping sarcasm for this rough morning. **Cause Papa Bear is pretty damn ready to ask you what you did.**

The sigh that follows such a sentence is innate to him, so much so that Bruce is even more aware of the dark circles and grey hairs that are gathering in his goatee.

**I'd like to bring you a cup of coffee and talk to you over a newspaper, maybe even spank you and then oop, we won't do it again.. But our favorite leather pirate didn't think so. Still, I've only got ten minutes to brief you and I know how it piss you off when you just woke up. My advice? Don't talk, so he can't turn anything against you, but we both know that if you don't give him a few bones to chew on for meat, he'll make it stop raining all over Africa.**

Begins the man when Bruce puts on the shoes without shoelaces. Wondering how they could have found him. But how was that possible? He straightens up fairly quickly, almost too quickly when he feels the dizziness attacking his temples. He doesn't take the time to warn Tony, who doesn't seem ready to stop talking. He attaches himself hard to the Iron Man's arm and doesn't even pay attention to it. 

- **How perceptive of you Tony** , he blows between two of the engineer's unstoppable sentences, he can almost feel the man's anxiety in the air.

- **You're a real peach today, come on, we've only got the free-range walk to make a plan. Let's recite the alphabet together, what can you remember? Because I've got cameras that picked up everything but the audio and that results in an offended AI. Buy him truffles-- Oh no, that's Pepper. Just tell him how helpful he's been and he'll start talking to you again-**

Bruce swallows slowly as he walks down the long corridor, looking for good words to explain what he couldn't even understand yet. So it had really happened, Loki had indeed asked him for help. Or help from the other guy. He's so confused, he can't imagine what Fury thinks he's getting from him. They all know Bruce isn't withholding the Hulk's memory, he'd just be questioning him for a lousy interrogation. Dr. Banner can't imagine what Loki could have done with the Hulk's strength that Fury or Anthony hasn't been able to detect on Earth-. Unless that's the problem, that the Hulk wasn't on Earth. Given Loki's magic, it would be highly probable.

He could almost feel their headaches on the horizon. 

- **Hm.** He adds here and there, he'd like to stay focused on what the man tells him, but every third sentence deviates from the present subject.

The sound of their own footsteps, as well as the coordinated footsteps of the soldiers, makes him frightfully nervous. The memories of such moments are particularly numerous, in this particular situation, he cannot say how many times he has come out of it intact.

- **Am I confined?** he asks as he cuts the engineer in the path of his words, 

The hazelnut gaze that greets him is almost insolent, well, it would be if Bruce didn't know Tony so well.

- **Of course you are, brucie-bear. Until further notice. You just disappeared with a megalomaniac in the top ten most wanted supervillains, there's no way you're getting past that. Although now would be a good time if the other guy wants to show up, 'cause I don't think you're gonna get much mercy in interrogation room.** says he, the multimillionaire with a certain tactfulness that's so obviously unique to him. 

Bruce watches the doors go by, both scared by how all this screams Ross as much as Nick Fury. The fear is irrational, since Ross wouldn't have gone to any trouble with a bed or even clothes, he wouldn't even have given him a chance to talk. He would have locked them up, losing the key except for when the new top secret projects arose. Nick hasn't had a chance to declare his intentions yet, but he suspects it's only a matter of time. 

Bruce is about to answer that the soldiers are stopping hard in their path, Anthony gives them a look both irritated and annoyed before focusing on Bruce. The rough and worn hands of the engineer rest on his shoulders so hurriedly that Bruce doesn't have time to refuse them. He tries to ignore how the touch reminds him that he is indeed a fugitive.

That he's only there, between Nick's goal and Loki's goal. He didn't think he'd find himself in such a situation so quickly, but Bruce recognizes himself without allegiance.

Of course that Loki was not of conventional nature, the reasons for his attacks are erratic and Bruce knows very well that there is more to know. And in Loki's favor, Bruce is not very warm towards the military forces. That's probably what would cause his downfall in a few minutes. Bruce had little, if any respect for how Nick planned to use him for his agenda. Oddly enough, the Hulk doesn't seem to have too loud an opinion despite the stress of the situation. The sensation of a caged animal seems to be the only stressor that allows Bruce to feel his alter ego. But what did he do with Loki? Bruce couldn't quite believe it, but the Hulk seems... domesticated. Or at least, he seems satiated. That same thought can't get out of his head, what could possibly satisfy a behemoth like the Hulk? 

  
  
  


- **As far as I know, I've got a draft of a contract right now, Pepper's finalizing it, we'll get you out of here as soon as possible. They couldn't get any blood out of you, but I don't like to talk too soon. Bruce, whether you agreed to this voluntarily or not, you're not alone. We're gonna get you out of here, this bastard's clock getting shorter every minute.**

Breathes Anthony with confidence, such emotion that Bruce can't stop the heat radiating from his chest. He had been thinking about this kind of moment in his head in the past, thoughts that included less Loki and more Ross...But he couldn't believe that Anthony cared about his well being as much, well more than the pretty talk.

Anthony really cared about him more than this morbid affliction towards the other guy. 

If Bruce wasn't already under the stress of not knowing what's waiting for him on the other side, he was trembling that someone cared about him. In a comfortable silence, maybe even in a world where they're out of here. Bruce considered Anthony Stark a friend. 

He was almost moved as his teammate threw a last sentence at him.

**-You don't deserve to be treated like that, Hulk or not. They know that.**

The engineer's hands leave him as fast as his eyes as Bruce is silently directed into a dreadfully white room. >>

O.o.o.

  
  
  


Nick Fury was playing a dangerous game. A game that Bruce couldn't entirely foresee. Ross's techniques were easily interpretable. Bruce knew he was capable of killing hundreds of people for his cause, one that, it turned out, was simply to catch him and use him to the last drop.

Nick, on the other hand, was playing a game that seemed longer. One that didn't feel like it was just the size of a target on his back alone. He was playing a long term game. One that, with too much recoil, seemed more than capable of being confusing. He had let him sign his rights to become an avenger, a right that seemed like a pretty cage with several heroic jailers. An advantage of creating a team of anyone with the strength to stop the Hulk if necessary. Anthony had spoken to him very well with a bitter feeling of how he had hardly been part of their little boy-band. That he was too reckless, that he didn't listen to orders and that he was too big a risk. But from what Dr. Banner found, they all were. So what was the real reason? Really, he'd pay to see the man explain to him that the Hulk is safer than Tony with his self-sacrifice for the greater good. Steve? He could argue all night, but Tony? A real joke, if anything, Nick was moving forward with the pawns he was up against. Or at least that's what Bruce would like to think. There's no reason to say he made Thor an avenger so as not to create a war between Earth and Asgard. Quick diplomacy, which seems to have the advantage of having an ally who's nothing but a gossip. Clint and Natasha had always had a finer ear for the whims of the god of thunder. But Bruce doesn't consider himself bitter, he knows very well that Ross was only too simple. Too dumb to move on, even though he recognized why he might deserve such treatment. He's only the scapegoat for the Hulk's damage, a curse he accepts with a tight throat. If anything, it's just a perk for Fury. Signing the Avengers deal was just a contract of good behavior, whether or not he went AWOL. That choice is taken away from them as quickly as it's given. 

  
  
  


All right, Bruce knows full well that his mind is spinning. Whether he's trying to interpret what's going to happen to him to better defend himself or predict the damage to better avoid it. Why on earth did Nick choose Natasha to interrogate him out of all the people? 

The young woman had had her share of the Hulk, so Bruce felt embarrassed to look at her for too long. There was this vulnerability, the one that is simply an anticipation of the fear of people who have encountered this other part of himself. 

He would bend over thin, several times for the kindness of saying sorry without even speaking. 

She seemed to be aware of this, so he couldn't help but think that Nick was using this guilt to get his answers. 

His open hands against the cold metal of the table seemed to keep him scolded in the present moment, into the icy pupils. He could see the warmth in the rest of her face, but her eyes betrayed it. 

  
  


<< **We are always alone, aren't we Natasha?**

he asks with silent rhetoric, he can only swallow under the soft purr of the several cameras and the ghosts of the people he knows observes him somewhere from these same cameras. From the present to the future, he suspected that what he would say now would affect his outcomes. Good enough that he knew about how every word he said had been gently turned against him since he was four years old. 

The smile that welcomes him is very charming, Bruce can't help but answer hers with his own. He is only nervous, the idea that she is going too far to re-discover what the hulk is capable of persists. 

- **Every action has consequences, but without an explanation** , she gently gesticulates her hand towards the camera, **there is no verdict. There are no right answers, Dr. Banner.** Her tone is courteous, even pleasant. But she only sounds like a woman on a mission.

Bruce takes a sarcastic sniff at the answer. Of course there's a wrong answer, one that will reveal the depth of the hole S.H.I.E.L.D. designed to bury him.

The question remained the same, what could he say? The truth was questionable, even after a night's sleep and semi-clear thoughts, Bruce knows very well that he is incriminating himself. With a little luck, the right words, he's just one of Loki's victims. And that's what was meant to be believed quickly. Anthony hadn't assumed, but what if Natasha had? 

Unlike Loki, Bruce didn't have a lot of assumptions about what Natasha was more than a spy with a sense of loyalty. 

Of course he wasn't neutral, David Banner had made sure that Bruce saw the importance of treating women with respect. He had made sure to remember how to never treat people. No matter how made they made you. That was one of his few legacies, burden of knowing this side of the coin. 

No, Bruce had no idea. Yes, Tony had been quick to give him a single weapon during their discussion. One that Bruce kept wanting to hang on to. The cameras worked, but the sound didn't. Maybe it was Loki's shenanigans, maybe a request for privacy and anonymity. Perhaps just the product of magic he'd coerced on Jarvis, or even a lucky gamble. 

Bruce didn't know if that alibi was strong enough to keep him standing up to his fraternization allegations. Even though there was no sound, this is just a test, surely? Nick probably had professionals read their lips. To see what Bruce couldn't admit, that he hadn't turned down the request for help. That he hadn't fought the god for his dignity, that they had just had a few minutes discussion, even if it had felt more like an hour. With a little honesty and imagination, Bruce now knows that Loki has picked the right person. 

Every avenger had a personal reason to hate the god but him. 

Even Loki had every reason to hate him, considering what he had made of him in the penthouse. A simple rattle for the Hulk in the beautiful marble tower. It was the most perplexing thing.

- **I'm not sure Nat'...** he began by sliding the palm of his left hand against the skin of his own face, letting out a sigh that could not be mistaken for a lie. 

She seems to be taking a warm attitude, her hand gently catching his as she crosses his eyes. Bruce knows very well that he has to adapt to his own survival. 

Ross didn't need acting, lying, because he had seen the damage. He'd seen that the Hulk wasn't doing what he wanted. And Ross didn't respect that part of him that wanted to help, that wanted to... make amends for his crimes. 

Natasha seemed to believe enough to pity him, something Bruce promises never to criticize ever again. Because Natasha's pity seemed to become his tool to see the blue sky again without the call of the Hulk.

  
  


- **We can start at the beginning, Bruce, and see where it takes us.** She says softly, he nods silently like a child. The left hand still against his scalp, ashamed of himself. The other is in the soft manicured hand of the skilled assassin. 

**-I don't know what you want to hear, I worked on Tony's Heartbreaker project until two in the morning. Jarvis warned me that I hadn't taken the time to take care of myself for three days straight...**

He pauses gently before looking at the reflection of the red hair on the worn metal table.

- **Heartbreaker?** she asks naively with a surprised look so effective that Bruce can't tell if it's counterfeit.

He grunts in a vain breath.

- **Yes, I...Something to save his life in battle, he needed my expertise in biology and my medical degree. I was willing to help, he's the one who's been keeping a roof over my head, and that counts for something.**

He frowns hard. He can't ignore that feeling of saying it out loud for the first time. 

**Loki didn't appear for a while. I remember coffee...** he giggles nervously. **And how it wasn't a very fair weapon. But Loki didn't look like he was there to fight. He was wounded, and it just seemed so stupid to me. To come to the Avengers tower wounded, as a last resort. Unless he had an intel t-that no one else would be there?**

He bites his lower lip hard. 

**I don't know why he came, and what he got from the Hulk. I remember those threats, how I tried to ask Jarvis for help and he got amused. I... I don't know what else to tell you, Natasha. Loki was very vague. I'm not trained for this kind of situation.**

  
  


She purses her lips gently and looks up at a camera with a disapproving look on her face. Bruce can't tell if she believes him or not.

- **I can see that.** She says so low that Bruce thinks he's in danger. 

He takes the opportunity to raise his gaze to the room. 

- **Did I...The other guy...** \- He starts with an ambiguous tone in his voice, he wouldn't allow himself to continue this discussion without knowing what he did. If they knew anything to begin with.

She slips a lock of her hair behind her ear before putting her whole back against her seat. She crosses her arms quickly as she exhales. 

- **That's the biggest problem Bruce. We don't know where he brought you and the idea that you still have his magic inside you is one of the main reasons that you are confined to the helicarrier until further notice. We don't know what his magic can do to your mind. And New York is a little too crowded to not be part of his plan. I hope you understand that.** When the last words reach his ears, Bruce knows Natasha believes him. Despite this display of vulnerability. 

Or at least he hopes so. 

**-I don't think exposing me here to your little spy secrets is a better idea,** he humors her slightly, following her take on this issue, **if you're right and he's somewhere in there between my ears..That's a whole other issue. And here I thought there was no more space to fill.**

The joke is of a nervous and naive nature, but the slightly worried look on Natasha's face when her eyes join his quickly silences him from this kind of teasing.

I **assume you've rebuilt a cage? Even bigger and seen from the outside? I think you're going to attract more trouble that way, Miss Romanoff. But I'm just your lab rat, what's else to do but take notes from the loony Banner as we offer him safety from Loki in our Observatory. An ant farm with a magnifying glass for that very moment when the other guy will get tired of being tested.**

  
  


Bruce can hear the blunt force in his voice. And it terrifies him that the rant is more his own than the Hulk's. Even though the Hulk seems to be a fighter in his cause, a rebel who chose his side, something Bruce can't seem to do today. In fear of only choosing the wrong one. It's how it is, how it always is. He'd do what he does best, survive the odds.

- **I can't promise you anything, but I know we'll do our best to make it as humane as possible for you to stay.** She said as they opened the same door he came in through. The same soldiers took more interest than ever as Bruce's body became heavy and his shoulders collapsed. All he can hear is a broken promise in the making.

Bruce knows his time is running out before they bring him into this manufactured cage. 

  
\- **That's the problem Nat', I'm not just human. Sooner or later, the other guy is going to show his nature, and you're not going to think about poor Banner who waited months to prove his innocence. Why don't you tell me how that makes any of you different from General Ross?** He throws it back bitterly when he realizes that she was telling him all along, there's no right answers, only bad ones. >>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking on posting around once a month, considering I actually am working on three other fictions lately, also am a ghost writer on freelance and try to juggle with the unstability of the daily. 
> 
> I really like how it's going right now, slow enough but that's just how it is when I start a new story. Using this ship is very refreshing, its so underrated as well. 
> 
> (Also my DMs are open if y'all ever wanna talk abt GammaFrost or anything really ^-^)
> 
> -19 July 2020- 
> 
> -AD-


	3. -Three-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce revisits his options, and how little there is. A little hope, isn't that all he needs..right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all for the 120+ Views! I'm glad some of y'all found this so quickly, I was hitting for 10k of words but pretty close right?

Anthony's naive statement seemed further and further away. A dull sigh when everything seemed to be going so fast. He crossed his teammate's disoriented gaze, followed by a glance from Natasha who joined him. Their stares seemed to only fuel the product of his nightmares. When the turn of the corridor begins, Bruce feels his fleeting instincts accumulate to the surface. He tries to ignore how it breaks his heart that a part of him thought he could trust them, his team. But the pessimism of his soul rejoices in a burst of sadism. The gears of his mind add up as he realizes that he has little time before he is locked up and observed for God knows how long. 

Part of him finds peace in how he has a glimmer of time to catch himself thinking, without someone to ask him questions. All he had to do was hope, to see how things would turn out.

Something he was already finding very difficult and he's deeply aware it only just begun. 

  
o.o.o

  
The Hulk had been happily pleasant, but now that he could hear the simple click of the automatic door behind him. The cell, was much bigger than the last one. It was only a useless comfort, considering there was no way to feel safe. No privacy, the equivalent of a defecation outlet, and a simple hose and handle to get water. The discomfort did not seem as strong as his acknowledgement of having any access to his needs. If it this was what Natasha was calling human, he would like to see if she would be willing to share. This cage wasn't made for anything human. Just for the Hulk, as if it was all he is. That's all they're waiting for, the big show. Bruce wouldn't let it go down like that. The floor is hard and skid-resistant, his clothes never seem to follow him as he changes position to get some sleep. The texture is rough against his skin, he imagines himself having some chafing along his arms, but nothing concrete.

  
There are no words for the heavy pain that weighs down his soul. The design stayed in exactly the same pattern. A fairly clear principle, several cameras and a hard dive to the ground if he dared to try something. So simplistic but provocative.

He could almost cry, after a whole year wondering if he should run away. Admitting that he should have, or even deny himself to Loki... And endangering New York with the Hulk. The stakes had been too high. 

  
Regret left an aftertaste in his mouth. Regrets that he didn't know what to do, which he often felt nowdays. Even with the Hulk, he could usually take comfort in the fact that the damage was physically done by the monster. But this time, he had been the one to blow the words out without hesitation. Bruce felt like a fugitive, one who, had nothing but attention. In a single twenty-four hour cycle, he could see how seriously Fury took him. Which was ridiculous since Bruce hadn't even seen the man's shadow yet. A paradox about his importance. Bruce could see with his own eyes, that the way he stood had always been comforting to others. He didn't want to hurt them, despite the fact that he was screaming inside. Just seeing his vague reflection every time he turned his head was like a cold shower. He couldn't let his thoughts win, no.

Not knowing that Tony had promised him help, that someone was actually trying to help him. He hadn't been able to said that often enough in the past. And that was reason enough.

The food was stale, and the Hulk liked the idea of showing them a real reason to be afraid of what he might do. Bruce is just fighting these vile urges to let the Hulk run to his doom.

And sometimes the thoughts are so strong that the look in his eyes he meets is green. Which is enough to send him back into a heavy breathing, he just barely catches up, one hand on his stomach to feel the pulse of his stomach at the new rhythm of his breathing. 

The soldiers faces change twice a day, which doesn't surprise the physicist. Bruce would like to be happy that he wasn't strapped to a bed or chair for the rest of his life, pumped with lethal doses of hard drugs, but the fact that he could move around the room at his leisure began to taunt him. It was a bit of a cakewalk compared to the cages of the past, but the sour sense of betrayal put him on the tip of his toes. 

  
The radio silence, the idea that Tony had abandoned him, that the avengers had forgotten him behind that glass castle. And that the key was destroyed before it was even found...

He dearly wished Tony would find a way, because after a week, Bruce started to wonder if the Hulk was right. They didn't know if they had time to destroy the cage before it hit the ground. But if there was one thing Bruce had stopped underestimating, it was his anger.

o.o.o.o

Bruce doesn't know exactly what prompted the visit. Or any of the ones that followed that week. It was strange, like the two weeks under surveillance were nothing serious for them. A test, radio silence maybe. Like an unfortunate punishment. That was their exact way of getting into his guilty feelings. He had no problem with dying, but if the Hulk managed to crack the glass before the base fell... Will he stop before he hurts innocent S.H.I.E.L.D. agents? Bruce was counting on his human form to get out of here. Limit the damage and the consequences of that impact. There's no way he was going to test the Hulk's anger theory, not if he still had a choice. There was no way he would allow that to happen, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. 

When he met Stark's piercing gaze, he wondered if he looked any worse. Probably he did, but he was used to the stench of his own body by now. And the grease in his hair wasn't something he'd never encountered before during the runs. All in all, despite the fatigue on his face, Anthony still seemed in good shape. In all consideration, he had made himself so small and quiet to help the billionaire get him out on good behavior. The thought of awful news had been nagging him ever since he arrived in the glass box. The engineer's sigh did not seem to equate to good news. The fact that his tie is open and that he seems to have been sleeping in the same clothes for at least one night does not seem to be particularly encouraging. 

Maybe that's how Loki had felt, observed like an animal. Although the god had found an effective way to escape. He wondered what the god would have done if he couldn't use the Hulk and Thor.   
He had teleported himself with ease to land in the tower, perhaps the little spectacle of waiting in the glass bubble was just that. A display of his superiority. 

Bruce didn't count on being defeated, considering he had access to even the basest of necessities. The odds of someone making a mistake, gaining privileges or getting mercy were not long in coming. But time is of the essence. 

<< **I see you're making use of the pencil I sent,** Notice the Iron Man with a pitiful look on his face at the multiple numbers against the further blacked-out glass. 

**I've renegotiated the terms to the limit of possible. You should be able to get more meals a day. I got you the equivalent of treatment for a suicidal patient. Nothing sharp or slippery. It's coming along, though.** He stops in a strange pause. **You don't look so good.** No wonder he's filling in the silence that Bruce soaks up like a sponge. 

Bruce sighs, his gaze gently turns to the numbers that seem a comforting sight for a few seconds. He's grateful for Tony's efforts, really. But things are moving too slowly.

\- **Haven't caught a sight of yourself yet ?** He said tactfully to reassure him, Tony's appearance had alarmed and soothed his mind in many different ways.

Tony's tired smile creates small wrinkles in the hollow of his eyes, they are too old for that kind of thing. Much too broken, Bruce sees it only too well in his eyes. He only loves their play on words and complicity, but the fatigue is most exhausting. 

**-No, actually, not yet. Pepper threatened to leak some compromising selfies if I don't get back to bed within the next hour. No matter how hard I try to sleep, knowing you're here drives me crazy. And I thought we had a good thing going. Fury's reminding me why I should never call my exes back. No matter how fantastic I remember it being, every little flaw in our contracts comes back to bite me in the ass.**

He's monologueing quietly knowing Bruce wouldn't have much to say about his neon escapade. He puts his hip against a passing bar to gently lean on it. Bruce swears that he would prefer the man in bed considering that he has worked for what seems to be too long. But he acknowledges that his human rights are a worthy cause to stay awake.

Bruce pinches his lips. 

**-You know the Heartbreaker project? I've had enough time and ink to figure out the problem with the injections. If you ever want to take a picture with Jarvis... it's all written down. S.H.I.E.L.D. alone is gonna find it pretty interesting to follow.**

He shrugs his shoulders, both proud of his discovery and annoyed that he can't make the prototypes himself.

**The coordinates follow the preferred notations of your plans, those that are not public enough for him to recognize them more than indexes.**

Anthony clears his throat as he brings a hand to his mouth. Both touched by the thought and guilty of not being able to do more. 

**-You...shouldn't have...I- But...Thank you.** he adds gently with a particularly absent look. **You know...You don't need to do me any favors. I want to get you out of here and you...you don't owe me anything Bruce.**

Bruce swallows, a hand finds its way to his elbow. He watches the man from the window, closer than he was mere seconds earlier. 

**-I did it because I wanted to. Because you gave me a pencil and it's one of the only things I could work on without my research being turned back on me. It's as much a favor to you as it is to me.** He explained with a nervous chuckle, one that seemed awfully quiet. **You can go to sleep Tony, it's not like you can solve all this in one day. I'll be here if you ever need a whiteboard.** The smile he's trying to communicate only seems to deepen the hero's gaze even more. He wonders if they're really going to make it through this intact. 

Tony puts his palms on what he's been leaning on with a heavy breath. 

- **You know, Clint started out helping. He knows the ins and outs of S.H.I.E.L.D. regulations better than Pepper, he's really here for your cause. I never would've believed him on our side, maybe even less than 'Tasha. It's weird how things are going south with this team.**

Tony tilts his head to look up at the ceiling for a few seconds. Absorbed by the irony of it. Bruce can't help but feel guilty. If Natasha and Tony hadn't been particularly inclined to make up their minds about whether or not he was guilty. But Clint is far from being neutral towards Loki that Bruce understands his bias immediately. 

**You know Steve arrived on base this morning? You should have a visitor soon.** He cackles bitterly. **I had to convince him that Fury thinks we've done enough damage. That getting you out of here by hand would only be tempting the devil. We all knew there was a chance that Fury would go nuts. Or that you'd disappear one night with your green buddy, sometimes it's the only thing I could read on your face. Your desire to get as far away as possible and never come back. I don't know exactly what kept you here, but it doesn't mean nothing. Not to me.** He's sniffing hard and looking up at him. **We're gonna get you out of here. It's just.. a matter of time.** >>


	4. -4-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce is prompted by another visit. One that seems more naive than he knows him to be. Is this another test or a genuine connection?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the 200+! Hope y'all find what you searching for!

Bruce recognizes that he is equipped with abundant resourcing in these types of limited situations. Or at least he likes to think so. The icy water he can afford is most convenient to keep him hydrated, controlling the heat waves that the Hulk seems to bring to his body with his mental appearances. Although it has only a rough and invasive pressure. It serves him well for many things, he has even considered letting it run to see whether or not the pump automatically turns off. Although he used it to rinse his hair and underarms. The survival aspect of each of his choices doesn't make him want to give it too much time to feel ashamed. He's trying to do better with each passing day, now that the indelible ink in the marker is now empty. Meditation helps him a lot not to see time go by, much more than he likes to admit it. Tony's visit is getting farther and farther away. This makes him wonder what their plan is. Do they improvise against his abilities? Does he think he is simply manipulated by Loki like a mask, an inanimate doll or simply like a time bomb? The second one was not very far from the usual. 

His forehead against the cold glass, his eyes closed to the world. Sitting in Indian with each hand on one knee, he found his anchor. The one who is only of solitude and calm. Of Betty's perfume and the pain of her absent kisses. It is all too obvious that thinking about the past did not help him to move forward, but there is very little to animate his mind during his times of isolation. 

He doesn't know if he should be afraid, if he has the right to lose hope in his team. What he would do if Loki were to reappear in the near future. He only tries to negotiate with the Hulk for some memorabilia, one that would offer him information to exchange for his freedom. Although he suspects that people like Natasha and Fury don't stop at a single detail. 

The round sound of a knock, the vibration of sound makes him straighten up quickly. With his back straight, he raises his head and looks up at the birth of the sound. 

<< **Captain.** He exhales at the sight of the blue gaze from the entrance.  **I am spoiled.** He starts with a surprised but kind tone, he allows himself to observe what Steve has in his hands. A kit? He observes the towel on his shoulder. The young man is in civilian clothes, if he adds with a fair share of doubts though. It’s as if the man is about to take a shower after a long day. The S.H.I.E.L.D. Logo is evident on most of the items he has brought.

  
  


- **Banner** , the smile that welcomes him is polite, so much so that it's forced. But Bruce can't figure out if it's discomfort or pity **. When I heard what happened, I wondered why he's bothering you and not how to find Loki. If any of us know if there's anyone in our heads. It's you.** He says so casually that Bruce can't help but take it as humor.

He puts one hand on the ground, he can't help but observe the captain. 

He doesn't know if the captain is naturally dense tonight, or clumsy. He opts for the second option, the little nervous laugh he exhales seems to calm the captain's gaze amply. 

**-I am much more easily captured than a criminal with teleportation. Hence the cage as well as me inside. It's quite simple, scapegoat for the danger that the Hulk and Loki represent combined. Escaping from here would only put me in danger from more enemies than I can currently afford.** He then says that he uses his hand on the ground to get up slowly. 

He reaches a more comfortable level for Steven, one that doesn't ask him to look down on him. 

- **Of course...I just wanted you to know that I'm not on the wrong side.** He blows so sure, with such a strong ambition that Bruce almost envies him. Steven seemed convinced of something that Bruce doesn't know. A vindictive hope. 

**-Excuse me, but I'm not sure which side you're referring to** . He said as he took off his glasses, just to clean them off his shirt. The movement is comforting, each movement only takes a few seconds before it is executed. 

Steve frowns and stammers his terribly confused response.

- **The Avengers, Banner, are you saying you doubt the power of the Avengers to get you out of here?** The words become very naive, Bruce takes a breath and looks at a camera. 

**-I don't doubt the Avengers.** He adds gently, pressing his point with his words. Letting a little silence capture them. Wanting to say so much more, but knowing it's safer to let the holes fill themselves. 

Steve's eyes blackened as quickly as the rain, he places the familiar glasses against the neck seam of his shirt. 

  
  


- **So we agree. Since S.H.I.E.L.D. had to redo their rows, I don't think our choices are the same. Although we hope that they are lacking Hydra's agent nowdays, I particularly know that this executive decision comes directly from Fury.**

Slowly release Steve.

**If all goes well, you should be out soon. Although you won't have all accesses open anytime soon. Unfortunately.** He puts the kit against a table base, to ruminate in the containers. He takes out several objects, they all have a similar shape. He approaches the food hatch to slide in each of the light cylinders.  **Continue to write as you wish, it keeps them busy.** He says with a knowing look.  **Hang on Dr. Banner.** He says with a sad smile. **I'll be back.**

Bruce exhales with an amused look at the markers on his side of the panel. He approaches it, looking at the different optional colors. 

- **I won't get my hopes up, but I appreciate the thought.** He says honestly, a sigh interrupted by a small deflection in his voice. **Goodbye Rogers. Say hello to the Widow for me.** He says with a little bitterness in the hollow of his throat. 

Steve looks at him for a few more seconds. Looking for something in his eyes, so much so that Bruce wonders if he has found it when he finally leaves the room.>>

  
  
  


o.o.o.o.o.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was fairly short but it's there for a reason that hasn't been established yet. We'll see some Loki action guys, but this is a slow build so it means anticipation!   
> ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )


	5. -5-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce starts talking to someone unexpectedly. Loki is still a mystery. The Avengers need to talk, Clint's a bro and Natasha is losing some of her edges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, 300 hits now! Also thank you for the love! Always nice to see interest in what I'm making. Can be a real motivator in downtimes. ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

It had started as always. With some anger, some guilt, and this cruel need to know why. It was this curiosity that overwhelmed him and pushed him into this multitude of problems. He knows it doesn't help him to complain. It's just a dead-end outlet. But with a cellmate like the Hulk. He has to admit that blaming Loki for all this was just easier. He is aware that directing anger at Loki is senseless, even though he initiated the situation. Loki is not the one who gave his consent. Bruce was threatened, but nothing so powerful or that he could not have predicted the god's attitude. He had not been original, even in a hurry. And Bruce doesn't even try to justify the thoughts he's letting go. The ones that sometimes start with "Dear Loki.''And which often continues with an overall meaning of ''You are the thorn in my flesh. ’’.

The thoughts are satisfying, they release more than Yoga or heavy respirations. Guilt gets comfortable with time. If Loki becomes the catalyst, he manages to redirect this heavyweight off his shoulders. And over time, the Hulk calms down more quickly. There are several benefits to this method that he cannot deny. These are things he would not say out loud because he realizes how strange it could be. Or even incriminating. And also because some of them are selfish thoughts. Things he can barely admit to himself. Thoughts evolve, as time passes through his visits. The ones he can always count on his fingers. He no longer holds back, when the reflection makes itself felt, he only adds to it.

It's not only his frame of mind. Sometimes they are just rhetorical questions. The originality is not there, but the need to know the truth is very powerful. Is there a reason for this? Did he need to know why now? Why him? Although they remained unanswered. Sometimes they venture out. Why did Loki seem so quick to negotiate? He didn't display the poise to dare to attack him, it was the most unusual thing. Especially knowing that Tony had been thrown from the same room over New York barely a year ago. Did he need help because he couldn't do a certain thing himself? The Hulk doesn't have a lot of features, but if Loki had needed brute force, Bruce could understand his path. Although the Hulk rarely follows orders, there was an attraction to using him as a servant.

He can't ignore the idea that Loki may have found a way to harness gamma waves and use them as a core and inexhaustible source for his magic. The idea was crazy, it was making his throat shrink just thinking about it. Is it even possible? 

Did the Hulk even manage to help him? Did all this have a purpose? Was it worth the effort? The questions just keep piling up. Adding up endlessly to sometimes leave him unsatisfied. The scientist in him couldn't give up, not now that he was paying the price. Not now that he was involved in the equation. Not now that he had sacrificed so much for it. Doubt reigns over him.

Where is he at this moment in time? While Bruce is suffering from the pain of his thoughts. Did Loki get at least what he wanted? Is he free and happy? Or a minimum of security? Has he completed his desire to use it? Or is he not fulfilled and hasn't got what he wants? Is it possible for him to live his life again without the God interrupting him? Is there even a chance? Will the Avengers be able to catch him to prove his innocence? 

Loki is an enigma to which he doesn't know most of the answers. He cannot use science or earth's logic to answer all his questions. He is left to move on by himself. The more he starts chatting with himself about Loki, the more he realizes that loneliness is weighing on him. It is nothing to take away the freedom of someone who has never known it. But Bruce has had this thread of hope, one that is catching up to him hard now. That hope and that slim sense of security. He wouldn't have admitted it when he lived in the tower, but he had been freer than he had ever been since the incident. He had been so close to feeling at home. 

He had the opportunity to walk out of the tower, go to the local coffee shop, or volunteer at the pet store. And no one was going to recognize him, look for him, or want to imprison him. This kind of freedom had been gold, an alliance that had many benefits, although he had been able to keep some of his time in the tower. Simply because he felt more protected there, he asked for news of the state of his case every week. And JARVIS had promised to notify him if there was any change. Even if it was only to look at his S.H.I.E.L.D. file, the thought left his heart heavy. It was only betrayal, one he could have seen coming. But he knows it was his humanity that made him think he had any chance. 

None of the Avengers actually knows. Tony can take off his armor. Steve can simply withdraw if the urge takes him. Living in this new world. Natasha and Clint found a contract that suited them, but it was a choice to follow an organization bigger than themselves. He believes that S.H.I.E.L.D. knows where Natasha is at all times only because she allows it. He could say the same about Clint, the man with many secrets.

Bruce...Don't have that choice, that privilege. He has to pay for the mistake of his past. Every single mistake. One of the mistakes has even a mind of its own. That continues to destroy what lies in his path. The Hulk cannot change, he is only...the result of pain, of regret. He is nothing but an extension of his rage. His mind is limited to the capacity of his emotions. And Bruce knows better than anyone that emotions are such a volatile thing that he will never be in control. Not the one he wants, he adapts and moves forward with less. In this dance that sometimes seems immortal. He knows that blaming Loki for this particular stupidity doesn't solve any of his problems. But loneliness weighs on him...And Loki seems to be the only thing he can't use to destroy himself further. Loki is just a preconceived idea to vent, to keep himself patient. Loki is only a mantra, a new kind of Taekwondo. A rattle for the Hulk, an enigma for Bruce...And a quiet thought for his heart.

O.o.o.o.

It didn't take much for them to find themselves sharing a room. Although most of their stance towards Bruce is clear. Confirmation was not unreasonable. Steve had a doubt in his face. The one that Anthony loves to loathe. The same doubt that Clint would call naive. Natasha seems to be the catalyst for the conversation. Even if they all end up a bit left on edge. The room is silent when the question reaches the bottom of their minds. Although the iron man would like to prove that they don't need to prove that Bruce is not a suspect. He knows very well that it would be willfully clumsy to keep the possibility too far away. 

  
<< **I know that all of you have your opinions about what is going on. And that a few words from me are not going to change that. But I have checked with Tony,** start slowly Clint with a determined air despite his relaxed body **. Bruce spent almost the entire month in the lab on their project. The guy had no more social life than going to the local bistro for tea, picking up his organic stuff at the market, and taking the subway to visit a cemetery in Harlem. No matter how hard I look, I can't see where Loki could have appeared without JARVIS to pry, Me, and Tony noticing. Even if Loki was on Eart-**

  
\- **Exactly, what is Loki doing on earth? Thor had assured us that he would bring Loki to the equivalent of an Asgard court. Did he escape? If even Asgard cannot contain Loki, can we?** Begins Natasha with her hands firmly on her hips, both tern and worried. 

  
Tony shrugs his shoulders. 

  
\- **Who knows, maybe the earth is not worth annihilating anymore, it's terribly worse, isn't it? The megalomaniac now could use what he wants. Whatever strikes his fancy. Like Hulk for instance-**

- **On the other hand, the Hulk doesn't have a big training, his capacities are limited, it's the only advantage we have on Loki's intentions. That and Bruce's confinement.** Slowly release Coulson in stunned silence from the entrance.

  
He seems to have papers overflowing from his notebook. The essence of a man busy between two meetings. They expected nothing less. His back gently flattened against the wall. The avengers cast a skeptical glance at him despite their enthusiasm for knowing he is alive. Anthony and Steve have one thing in common for once, they can't help but think this resurrection is most suspicious. But the thought of leaving Bruce in the cage for another second only horrifies them. So they swallow in politeness. 

  
\- **Questionable. You really would say the Hulk is limited? He could use his thumb and middle finger to crush my helmet and whats left in it!** Says Steve in a burst of surprise.

- **He's powerful, but the Hulk doesn't know how to use weapons, he just destroys until he's exhausted. It's not a subtle intel. Strong, but loud, flashy, clumsy. And since we know that, that information was run on the satellites and I think we would've noticed something destroyed at the Hulk level. We can easily deduce that what it does probably has no connection with the earth.** Natasha sighs, **Or that he has a long term plan that concerns us. It's beyond us before we even begin.**

  
\- **We can't keep Bruce here until Loki shows up, I'm not saying Loki is done with him. But it's just not human, especially without proof that he's going to come back at all. It's substantial at best. A judge wouldn't convict him for that.** Clint replies with a frown.

  
\- **And that's one less wrinkle on Fury's forehead, especially knowing that the Hulk is an uncontrollable assault on legs.** Softly blows Coulson away with a sorry little smile, one that in retrospect seemed most compassionate.

  
- **I'd say we could do what he says, control the terms of his prison, at the very least. Otherwise, we walk straight ahead into an impending Hulk-out. It stinks from more than 50 meters away, guys.** Adds Tony, the tongue-in-cheek. **. Bruce made a convincing point during the initial interview. Locking him up is only temporary because we all give in. He's had some practice at being locked up, I saw it as soon as you put him in there. He immediately started living as if nothing had happened. Not even a retaliation, it's conditioning at this point. There are limits, no matter how grey the situation is. It's not just saving the world's ass, if you're the reason Bruce becomes the Hulk, you're not necessarily better than the threat of Loki's presence. Think about the agents, think about the people when he's going to get out of the helicarrier. It's just impossible to prevent this kind of thing, but I know he's not going to last very long at this rate. We have amounts of limited time before we got something bigger on our hands.**

  
**-It's not as if Bruce would voluntarily go looking for the secrets of S.H.I.E.L.D. And if he's bewitched, we could just keep him in the clear. Alternating guards, having people for the night, doing as much as possible without him being caught in a cage. The helicarrier has much more surface area and social interaction to keep him stimulated and human.** Begins Steven with a little hope. 

  
**-I don't see the whole thing being entirely impossible to integrate, some adjustment here and there, Fury might agree to not want the liability. He knows that time is running out before the bomb explodes. If an agent's room and access to the gym prevents that, it would be more than feasible**. Coulson adds gently, calculating the interaction in his head, 

  
\- **And if you give me time, I will find a way to counter the kind of attack that paralyzed JARVIS. Bless his soul. He cannot be more under surveillance than the tower. There is always a solution, it's often just a matter of time and finding a good metaphor. It's enough to double your attention and have tricks in your pocket. A few steps ahead of time and there you go. Best case scenario? Super-villain apprehended. We never see his face again.**

  
- **If Loki was able to get access to Bruce in the penthouse, I don't see how he can't do it again Stark. We're all here, S.H.I.E.L.D. is one of the most protected places for Bruce at the moment.** Says Clint looking more certain of his opinion as the seconds go by. 

  
- **The shadow of a plan. Very risky, if Bruce feels he is in danger from one of the hundreds of agents who have their own opinion on the matter... We are ruined faster than we can apprehend him**. Blows Natasha with a sniff of dark humor. 

  
- **We don't have much choice. We're buying time. Maybe Loki will take advantage of the opportunity, who knows. Hopefully, it was a one-time-only instance.** Replies the blond soldier with a dark stare and pinched lips. 

  
- **Who's in charge of breaking the news to him?** asks Tony with a raised eyebrow, **Captain Popsicle can't lie to save his life. Natasha has broken whatever tiny circle of trust they had between each other. I don't want to jeopardize our relationship over these kinds of stupid lies...Sending Coulson would just be cold and-**

  
- **Don't worry. I'll take care of it.** Blows the voice of the Avenger with a heavy sigh. >>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is fairly short, It went by really quick. I have not yet found the right pacing for chapters yet. This just really fits my agenda for now, but chapters will get thicker as we go.  
> (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)  
> Loki interactions are coming soon! I'm excited as well to see them interact together again! 
> 
> What is Loki up to huh? Sly him.


	6. -6-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruces faces the thing he has been dreading for as long as he was stuck. How long was he out? 
> 
> Loki and Bruce share a frustrating conversation. One that leaves them both unsatisfied. 
> 
> His world just begun changing, and he already feels so out of it. 
> 
> There is no lesser evil, only choices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyy, I promised myself I would write until Loki appeared. And post it all as a chapter. To make it worth it. And also in the fact it didn't felt full without it. So there it is. 8k of setting up, of Bruce and Loki. 
> 
> Sorry for the wait. I didn't abandon it. See you next time guys! ヽ(͡◕ ͜ʖ ͡◕)ﾉ

  
It only takes two long days before he sees the face of Anthony. He had missed the view terribly. Although he does not wonder what he must look like. He doesn't know if it bodes well for his case, if the purpose lf the visit is only to deliver news or if it has nothing to do with his imprisonment. The words that run through his mouth are about rain and good weather. But he has that look, the look that tells him that he is saving the best for last. That of the master of suspense. Is it even anxiety? He doesn't dare to ask him himself for fear of breaking the surprise. Or to end up disappointed. Bruce recognizes it by sight for having seen him in the middle of the night during one of their monthly conversations. During his conversations where they were not being filmed by S.H.I.E.L.D. or anyone else with malicious intent. 

Where they could talk about the most incongruous of scenarios. The most controversial of dilemmas and simply converse with someone who knew a lot about the subject. Let the conversation find it's path. Science was inaccurate for Dr. Banner, a process of trial and error. A dosage here and there, improvised in the face of adversity. While Tony had engineering mathematics on his side. Fuses are counting and adding, concepts are retractable. It is possible to list the possible problems with their degree of error, a margin of maneuver. Although he likes it for biology, it is a source of pleasure and uncertain doubts. Each movement can end the life or biosystem of what inhabits it. 

Bruce can't help but wish to return to his almost carefree days, the ones where the problem of the moment was what they were going to get delivered to devour it...Either those mysterious weekends when Tony joins him at the lab to ignore the sound of the world and find a new trendy knitting gadget for the technology showcase galas. Student competitions marked Stark industries, the ones he loves to hear Tony talk about. Because with these kinds of opportunities, anyone can get the opportunity to get lucky. And that Bruce is too old not to realize how lucky it makes the next generation. 

  
It was quite a fun and impressive sight to realize that Anthony only spends one or a few days on a project for the exhibitions. When the other participants spend months, even years perfecting their work to change the world. With a nervousness to show it to the public. Something that Tony no longer recognizes as intense. Although Tony told him his secret. The one that he is always tinkering in his skull, whenever he has the fantasy. During not very interesting meetings, during a super-villain speech, over a drink in front of half of New York at a charity event. The plan is already there, ready to be executed. All it has to do is reach the heat of the lab, the garage. Change his velvet suit for faded jeans or his mask for protection goggles. 

Having been in that field of vision, the one that allowed him to see the level of trust between him and Tony had not been the easiest. They both had trust issues with each other, so it had been a long time coming. Before the calm came with them. It broke his heart to realize they now took steps back because of this.

  
Bruce realizes that he is terrified that he has lost his privileges. Even though Tony will help him get out of here, at what cost? It's possible that he has let his anxiety mark his face as Tony stops talking. Bruce can't help but realize how locked up he is. Locked up in truth, information, human warmth, and everyday interactions. It was one thing to voluntarily stay in the tower, another to be locked up without knowing when he will be able to come out. The silence they share is very heavy. Bruce needs to know if Tony is going to keep information against him, is he one of those who want to control him? 

<< **I..I can't get something out of my head Tony.** He blows with raw honesty, Anthony raises an eyebrow. Worry takes over his face as seconds go by. 

- **I'm listening. I mean, if you want to talk about it.** Clumsily let go of the engineer, Bruce breathes in softly. 

  
- **When did Jarvis warn you that I was in danger? That Loki made it to the tower?** His words are hesitant, the truth is rarely good to hear. 

  
Tony seems suddenly relieved, his hand on his chest, it quickly deflates.

- **One hour. Just one hour Bruce. By the time the spell disappeared. Granted, I had no idea if it was voluntary or just that his spell had lost power by the simple law of distance. I was terrified when I heard you were gone. A lot can happen in a month if Loki wasn't already full of magic...** Let's go the avenger with a gentle laugh untouchable of nervousness. Humor goes over his head. **Are you sure you don't remember anything?**

 **  
**Bruce realizes that he has stopped breathing. A plaintive sound comes out of his throat without him realizing it comes from him. He moves his head back and a foot with an unsure look on his face, almost physically struck by the sudden news. He crosses Tony's hazelnut look of regret as he realizes his mistake. Bruce turns around hard, he feels his throat tightening.

How could he have forgotten such an important detail? Loki stole a month of his life from him. And he wondered if Loki was right to use it. Was he stupid? Did Loki steal brain cells from him at the same time? He realized that his breathing was irregular, he stumbled in his path and put one hand against the glass. He can still hear Tony's running steps as he runs around his cage to come face to face with him. Bruce knows that this is nothing compared to what the Hulk stole from him. The Hulk had been able to make him forget seasons, whole months full of blurry and painful memories. But Loki...

  
Loki was aware of what he was stealing, what he was breaking. Did he have any idea how this meant everything to him? He could feel his teeth chattering like he was cold, goosebumps attacking his skin. He doesn't dare to look up with his eyes closed. He knows that Tony is so close. He can see his shiny leather shoes through the reinforced glass. 

Yet nothing seems to change the fact that Loki has had him. Loki has been using him. 

  
Bruce is definitely not as neutral as he would like to admit. 

Loneliness weighs so heavily on him. Tony's lost and worried look is just another phantom. Another disappointment.

He couldn't tell if anything was going well at the moment. He has always tried to find the bright side, but Loki doesn't seem to have any. Bruce feels empty, full, mixed up.  
What would he believe? He's really alone in the world. Inside or outside this cage, what's the difference? He is still the monster, the killer. The victim, now Loki, was one more thing that had been able to use him. 

**  
**Why does it hurt so much to realize? His heart is so fast, so fast that he's wondering if the Hulk is going to want to perform soon. He tries to stay in the moment, but the sadness, the need to feel-

He doesn't know when he stopped seeing Anthony's shoes from the window.  
He knows even less how he didn't hear his cage door open.   
The multiple steps, before two hands approached his shoulders. Anthony's hands on his shoulders seem to be the only thread that prevents him from simply slipping the Hulk's control. 

  
It's stupid really, but Tony's face is the only thing that reminds him that not everyone who would be in his way deserves this. No, they don't deserve this. Not because he hoped that Loki had been anything other than a thief and a liar. He hadn't consented to much. But he knew he hadn't said yes to that. 

  
He hadn't said yes to anything. 

Why didn't he ask Natasha how long he disappeared for at the very beginning? Or all of his many times or did he have access to a human? Oh my God, he feels so stupid for willfully ignoring such important information. Maybe he never asked because of that kind of reaction. With this cacophony of hyperventilation, he was not aware of his moods. He keeps realizing that he seems to be thinking too much, that he can't find a second of silence in his head. That no one can keep him quiet about what is going on in his head. But he knows it's not true. 

Someone had distracted him before. He had felt the world disappear, his heart beating in an act of morbid courage. He had heard Loki's sweet voice cajoling the hollow of his skull. Oh Bruce doesn't even prevent the green, the blue that mixes in his memories. He can remember the warmth radiating from his chest as a blast of some kind of energy aimed at him. He remembers his roar being so powerful that it made a sound wave. He can't differentiate himself currently from the Hulk, it seems to scare him even more. But as the seconds follow one another, life is very blurry.

He feels warmth, the warmth that clings to him so strongly that Bruce doesn't stop the tears from flowing as he pleases. 

He keeps his eyelids closed hard, a jerk bursts in his throat. 

He can smell the smell of oil, freshly pressed clothes, and lavender from so close. He puts his nose against the warm skin that is so close. Soothed by the touch, grasping it with his full arms and attaching himself to it like a lifeline. He is close to drowning in it. 

Tony's soft, restless voice reaches his ears. Bruce ignores it for a few seconds, before realizing that he is talking to him. Listening to its harmony and sound.

\- **I'm going to back up slowly. Unless you need it longer. Is that all right?** Blow so hesitantly that Bruce feels like a broken porcelain toy. 

It hasn't reached him yet. Loki stole a month of his life from him. Hulk...Hulk didn't tell him anything.   
He doesn't know who he blames the most. Loki for knowing what he's doing, himself for offering his spirit without a fight. Or Hulk for not knowing better than to do what Loki asks him to do. Did he even fight for their cause? 

- **I want the Tower.** Croaks Bruce with a hoarse throat, although he knows what Tony is going to tell him. He knows it's not his fault, that there's nothing he can do. He won't let go of the man who is holding him. He can feel the pounding of his crazy heart from their connection points. They are both scared, for different reasons.

- **Let me call Clint. We'll find you a bed.** Stark answers with a chilling seriousness, though it's not against him. I **t's over, Bruce. They can't keep doing this to you. I can't stand it.**

Bruce remains silent as the cold will capture him again. He watches Tony straighten up and take the steps to contact Clint. He does not know what scares him more, having to interact with Clint. Or of having to spend the next few hours alone. Bruce looks down to realize that the reason he is cold is that his shirt is torn in several places. He swallows as he realizes what that means. He watches the worried hazelnut look catching his own. Tony looks worried and stressed. 

Bruce realizes that the only reason the Hulk didn't win this time is that Tony has caught the bomb by hugging him so closely.  
  
 _Loki, what have you done?_

.

.

.

It didn't take long before Bruce got a glimpse of a window. Although he was handcuffed. He appreciates the fact that it's late at night. There is little light from the helicarrier. The clouds catch the light in the darkness of the night. He can see the lampposts as well as the soldiers in the entrances of the ground floor. He doesn't know how long he spent in the cage, if he tries... He would count only a week or two. The idea that he has cracked so quickly frightens him. Has he become weak living in the comfort of the Tower? Or had Loki used him in a way that made him less resilient? He doesn't know if he can blame Loki for this. 

Loki has done evil things. He deserves the blame, but Bruce's self-esteem knows that it's probably his fault that he didn't break down later. He is grateful to have this walk in the S.H.I.E.L.D. base even if Tony lied, or he can't find a place for him to live. He is thankful to see something other than the same walls. That same silence outside of the temperature regulator. He can't say thank you for fear that Clint will know how it affects him. Tony knows that this painful silence, like a cage, is his Achilles heel.

  
But he hasn't seen Clint in months. The man looks tired, as if he woke up early in the morning. Bruce infers that he was not awake when Tony contacted him. Although they do walk to his left. Bruce is happy to have the right side of the hallways to himself. Although he dodges agents here and there. Walking is good for his legs. His body feels numb and throbbing. As he sees it, their numbers are moderate, not as much as during the attack. Maybe it's because it's night time. The usual procedure is to reduce their numbers. Part of Bruce is consoled that he doesn't see him as a danger as great as Loki. The other wonders if they know what to expect with the Hulk. Because he himself never knows what he will have to sacrifice. It is only naivety or stupidity on their part. Or a false illusion. Maybe with just one button from Clint. They would come back there. The mere idea would twist his guts. Although he didn't have any physical torture of any kind. That was almost the case with mental torture. He had had the displeasure of being tied up, handcuffed, flogged. And now that they had freed him from the walls around him. It was more personal, more experimental. Frightening that no matter how much he tried, Bruce still couldn't deduce the future. He probably would die trying.

  
The two men seem to be having an intermittent discussion. Bruce is convinced that he wants to talk about what is going on, but that he does not do so out of respect for him. That would make him laugh some other day, but this morning he feels so close to the precipice tonight. So he appreciates the effort. It only takes three times for Clint to show his badge before he arrives at a section with many more doors. Clint seems to glance at him occasionally. Although Bruce is pretending to be innocent. He wonders where he seems to be going. He doesn't know what the other Avengers are doing at this hour.

Can they sleep? Or is he not the only one gnawed by his demons? Will he be the only one who doesn't want to fall asleep? 

When they slow down the pace. Bruce feels his heart jumping in his chest.  
He remained silent despite the two questions he was asked. This time he knows he can't ignore them. Even though the panic is attacking his mind. He turns his head towards Anthony, both desperate and confused. 

- **Don't look at me like that. We were supposed to take you out the day after tomorrow morning on Coulson's orders. That's the most I can do in that time frame.**

Clint puts one hand on his shoulder. Bruce felt the horror in his eyes as he realized that someone had touched him without him seeing it coming. He feels his body tightening. Clint's look is calm, tired, and understanding. 

- **I'll take care of it Tony. Hush. I've got it under control. Right, Banner?** He says as he watches Anthony pinch his lips. He's trying to hold back a yawn with a polite little smile. **We're good.**

- **Better not be seeing braids in his hair tomorrow. Or I'll be jealous.** He says with one last look at Clint. Then Bruce with a look looking for confirmation. 

  
Bruce doesn't know what scares him so much about spending the night with Clint. And since then, the door has opened. He sees that it's from his quarters. From the sight of his weapons on the wall to personal items on his desk. He knows very well that Clint has been his teammate. Although they don't have a very intimate or open relationship. They always did the minimum required. Silverlining, this room scares him less than the cell.

  
But after all this, it only seems ironic that it's Clint. He who suffered from Loki's hand, something he knew was difficult from Natasha's restrained mouth. Only one observation shouted at him that Clint was probably making his misfortune his own. The doctor in him couldn't see anything else. Why worry about him if he didn't? They were basically strangers.

He doesn't think Clint sees him as a friend, let alone a brother. Bruce acknowledges that he offers indeterminate energy, one that depending on the situation can be very calm, or too anxious. Although tonight it does draw towards the latter. He doesn't blame Clint when he takes his hand away from Bruce. He is relieved even.

Bruce nods confidently to Tony, who takes it as a confirmation.

Bruce can't afford to be scared of people who seem to be helping him, it's not going to help him move forward. He listens to the sigh that he lets out before walking into the room. When the click of the automatic door clicks. 

- **Are you sure you want to be locked up with me?** He asks, his voice is hoarse because it is too damn dry. 

He crosses Clint's gaze, both amused by the remark and an ounce of his gaze seems of morbid curiosity. Bruce recognizes it only too quickly to have seen it in the eyes of most of his team. The only one who had not seemed interested in the Hulk outside the battlefield was the Captain. Only one humble and serious respect had followed the captain's gaze. That of the others was only an affliction, that of not having the privilege of knowing. 

  
- **You have lived with your roommate for over twenty years. I can do a few nights with you two. Good thing you're that size. I hardly see the Hulk sleeping on the air mattress.** He chuckles before disappearing into the bathroom, the mattress was so subtle, that bruce only noticed it a few minutes later. >>

But the thing seemed much more comfortable than what S.H.I.E.L.D. had been able to offer him in the cage. 

  
Bruce takes a folded blanket at the foot of the mattress to cover the surface. 

He doesn't think he can say anymore, there is nothing he thinks he can say that will improve the growing anxiety that accompanies him. The idea that Loki is not done with him gnaws at his stomach. And he thinks even less of sharing his worries with the man who has lived worse by his hand. 

It only takes a few minutes before Clint returns to the room. Although Bruce isn't sure, he let himself wonder in his mind, lying on his mattress. Searching for calm and silence. The blond man seems more awake, so Bruce is looking for an indication of the time in the room. He finally finds one on the computer screen saver. Four o'clock in the morning, not surprisingly. 

He doesn't know if he considers himself safe enough to fall asleep.   
He can't process the fact that he's only been locked up for two weeks. He doesn't know what they have in mind to punish him. But nothing seems fun. Bruce doesn't know what to do with the idea that all this is going too fast. The survivor in him is satisfied that now he has more access to privileges than before. This allows him to escape more easily, although he suspects that with such great resources, S.H.I.E.LD would not stop at a few weeks of confinement if they catch him. He doesn't even know what to do because he was an Avenger. Does he still have permission to ask about Betty? The confusion, the uncertain feeling of the moment makes him doubt everything. But the fluffy towel in his hand seems a good answer at the moment. 

  
The heat and water pressure of the shower are very striking. Although he only desired it all week. He is not ready to feel its softness. He ends up sitting in the bathtub, the heat of the shower rolls against the hollow of his shoulders. He rubs the dirt accumulated under his skin. Although from a distance, he looks relatively well. From so close, he can see the difference in the gray shades of his skin. He feels as if he is rubbing an eraser over his body, the stress sweat and fear seem to have accumulated. He passes his hair underwater with a few seconds of waiting for the hair grains to absorb the water. He can't tell when he will have access to a shower again, so he doesn't deprive himself of hot water. The sobs are pressed down, hard to swallow, they seem to be back in the hollow of his throat. He tries not to make more noise than the water crashing against the porcelain. He appreciates that this time the droplets do not become balls. He is too exhausted to think anything.

  
He could not say what hurts him more, to have to return to this mentality, the one that no longer allows him to trust people he loves. It's back to zero. Loki doesn't seem to realize what he stole from him. Is it unparalleled? Bruce knows his time is running out before he runs away. Before he does it again, Tony knows it. He sees it in his eyes, he wouldn't blame him. Bruce thinks that ultimately, only Anthony understands this sacrifice. Perhaps the others as well. But he has no confirmation of it.

People don't realize as much as they think that the Hulk is in control of his life. But it is the mistakes that haunt him. Anthony may want to give points to the Hulk to have been saving his life all along. 

But at what cost? 

.

.

.

When he wakes up, Bruce is gently approached by Steven as soon as he leaves the room. Hawkeye is nowhere to be found. Steve has brought a clear bag in his hand containing his personal belongings. Bruce feels his body refocus as he attaches his heart rate monitor to his wrist. This makes him more comfortable, although he is aware of his heart rate most of the time. A reminder to ground, a fact that sees without being distorted by his own anxieties seems to keep him calmer than ever. Anxiety is rarely rational.

Clear and precise figures, a precision duly requested.

  
Steven's smile is most innocent, although it is not certain that the soldier decided not to ask questions and just move on. Bruce appreciates the gesture, although it makes him more confused than ever. He is not acquitted, as he is confined to the helicarrier.  
He had deduced this from his jaunt to the cafeteria with the captain to realize what they seemed to be testing. Steve's smile didn't look fake, but for Bruce, it might as well be. It doesn't change the realization that he is being watched by the people he knows most now. It just seems to twist the knife deeper, all the honesty of their actions goes out the window because they are watching him. 

Bruce doesn't know what he's waiting for. He watches Steve talk to him about the agents' schedules, the gym's hours of operation, and when the plates outside are off-limits. Like a new little world in theirs. A colony, a government, and soldiers shooting without thinking. He knows only too well what kind of mentality brings to society.

Sometimes when he meets the eyes of people who recognize him. He feels his blood do a double turn, the Hulk's subdued roar is felt tight. The shame is hot and hard, the hardest to swallow. Though the guilt is equally high. Though he knows how to contain it, he is not the most delighted. Although cage is torture in itself, having to face people who know the level of damage he has done. That they know the truth, that the color or the size doesn't make a difference.

He is a killer, one who has killed more than some diseases. A mass murderer without morals. Hulk is his burden. He tries to focus on the captain, hoping that he can pretend. Although he misses anonymity in the third world.

  
That he may one day come out of it alive, although he has had the chance to do so a few times. Bruce wonders what he should do. He has had the opportunity to escape. As they stepped on the main plate. He appreciates knowing that Steven has taken the road on purpose so that he can feel the wind and the sun. It's still very human to think about this kind of thing. Although his eyes must have taken some time to adjust. The sight was worth it. They had come so close to the void. The blue of the sky, the wind against his hair, this desire to stay still and listen to the sounds of life. He had found a frightening sense of comfort in the thought that he could just jump and forget. Ignore everything that had happened. 

To become the fugitive the Hulk had decided he would be. Although the plan is flawed and almost void. He is comforted by its dream. For the simple reason that he would not give control to people other than the behemoth. Even though he hates the idea of giving control to the Hulk. It is an evil that he would have to take in order not to be used as a biological weapon by a team that has hidden values. The number of people he met on the first day was more people than he will meet in a month at the tower. He cannot deny that being anonymous is more reassuring than being looked at as if he was seconds away from exploding.

Bruce would like this considered relatively alone. Although he is convinced with evidence that the Avengers are following him closely. He even left a few remarks about it during Tony's visit this morning. He said that Bruce is lucky that the Avengers are dedicated to the task because otherwise he wouldn't be so trusted. On which Bruce had been able to keep his mouth shut, he recognizes a victory when it comes. Or a concession.

  
Although this victory, that of having to sleep with Hawkeye for the estimate of several days before S.H.I.E.L.D. assigns him an empty room. The first thing Bruce was able to do when he had the chance was to check how closely he was being watched. Turn out the mattress, looked behind the electrical outlets, even the darkest places such as the clock or the smoke detector. He was surprised to find only three devices. He took the chance to leave them in their respective place where he had found them. With luck, one of his little gadgets might make his life a lot easier in the future. He would give anything to get his survival kit back. Although this one resides in the wardrobe of his room in Stark Tower. So close, yet so far away. He has no idea what area he's in right now. Although it only matters slightly. There is a certain comfort in the idea of no longer sharing the room with the agent. Clint is decent and mostly friendly. But sharing with him felt like another problem in the making. 

Bruce can lie to himself. But in his heart, his body, his mind, he is convinced that this is a new hunt. He has the opportunity to walk down the hallway, wash his clothes, and eat in the cafeteria. Every time he meets looks, there is this doubt. The one that makes him feel like he's one step away from running. It was one thing to have slept in police stations when they couldn't identify him. The concrete and the heat of Mexico reminded him not to make mistakes. The only source of wind was hitting the wall with its irritating plastic. Before closing under a power outage. It wasn't a great ordeal, but it felt familiar. In a way that's more comfortable than what is currently happening to him.

That and the idea from the past that Ross would find it faster if his picture was taken for electronic identification. He couldn't tell how many fingerprints he had to make and then find a way to get away with it. Conflicts are easy to avoid until they pile up. Lies accumulate to leave him confused. Although he never had enough of it for consecutive days. He does not know what this new hunt involves. The Mexican police, Indonesian, is not as strict. They are not as creative as a multi-billion dollar conglomerate like this murder agency. They are buyable, manipulated, corrupted by the highest payers. Coaxing usually worked. 

With this stress, this distraction. He almost allows himself to forget about Loki, thoughts about the man leave him bitter. Considering he had to do another one of his questioning for Fury. It's starting to itch him not to see any of the men responsible for his fugitive state. Although he didn't want the stress, he couldn't help but question himself. He's not really thinking about revenge. But it is this doubt and the questions that gnaw at him. They're not as important as his need to know if this is all for some purpose. 

He cannot say what interests him most. To choose to jump, or to wait and see what happens. This purgatory is not sustainable.

.

.

.

Having to pass a card through the machine, and then take a teabag from the dispenser. Then to take his tray of food and find a place to eat.   
He feels in a strange mixture of his old job at the military base and the feeling that he is not welcome in the groups at the school.

He realizes that he can't feel rejected if he doesn't give thoughts to the table. So he gets into the habit of walking along the glass corridor, far enough not to be disturbed, but not so far that he has to go back and carry the cutlery. It is very relaxing to watch the clouds pass while he enjoys the warmth of his tea. Routine sets in quickly. Although he thought he was free, it only takes three days before S.H.I.E.L.D. finds a use for him. He doesn't agree, but his brain needs something more than the gym with Steve and meals under the stars. And, of course, he soon misses science. Tony is back on his schedule as if nothing had happened. The contract was signed, like a sentence. They only managed to get a six-month reprieve. 

So yes, he corrects data on his time. He goes over mistakes. Adds input on files. Things he realizes are not enough intel for him to have any leverage. 

Although the contract says he will be allowed to return to the tower. Bruce is bitter, he doesn't know if this is what he really wants. He doesn't want to stay here either. This experience was not the most traumatizing, he could name some of the most intense. But the thought of having to trust anyone weighs on him. The doctor in him is convinced that his paranoia is increasing at an alarming rate. This he considers normal given that he has experienced a kidnapping of which he is completely unaware of its memories. The irony of not remembering a trauma does not go over his head. He cannot say what life has planned for him. Although he knows he will have to choose, he doesn't want to. Not now, not right away. Fortunately, he has six months to pick. Less, if he feels like it. 

The bad glances get calmer, and others appear. Rumors spread, something he imagines normal in this kind of situation, although he doesn't like the results. He can't count the number of times he has seen agents physically retreat in the hallways. The groups have become silent while he uses the coffee machine. He is most dismayed by the lack of tact in some situations. 

Are they not aware this kind of behavior is less than helpful? Granted he is conscious that he was a criminal walking on owned land. Some patriotic heads will turn. 

This is probably why he did not give what happened a second thought. He doesn't know if it was a mistake, nastiness or confusion. But the shoulder that comes into contact with his is hard and straight. Bruce doesn't have time to turn his head that his glasses finds the ground. He naturally bent over to pick them up, when the voice gave up words way too clearly.

<< **Are you making me wait?**

The words had a bad omen even though the face he crossed is normal and neutral.   
Almost too neutral for the situation. He does not seem to apologize or realize how rude he is. Bruce allows him to pucker up.

 **-Wait for What?** he starts with a stifling confusion. **No- Hey!** he shouts out the form that goes away without waiting for an answer. As he walks away, the clarity of the form diminishes.

  
He sighed and obtained his glasses and then put them on his nose.

He straightened up quite quickly, his thoughts accumulated as he observed the sentence in all its senses. 

  
He said it so convinced, the man with brown eyes had simply been in a trance. The message seemed clear, even though Bruce hated to know its meaning. It doesn't take long before a woman with brown hair crosses the hallway. Her gaze is fixed and intense.

  
Bruce is quite sure that she seems to want to tell him something. But she goes on her way without saying a word. Bruce is most dismayed. Did he do something wrong? 

  
What the hell is going on? 

  
He reaches the threshold of the communal kitchen, looking from right to left. He feels his mind getting wrapped up in theories. Although he doesn't like the idea of getting carried away by such a small moment. He has a vague feeling of knowing what is going on. 

The words are so close, at the tip of his tongue.

He feel his back tighten as a voice crosses the room. A hand rests on his shoulder.   
He quickly withdraws from the touch by reflex. But as he crosses Steve's face, he swallows. He tries to erase the fear from his face, but he imagines that the captain has already seen it.

- **Sorry, I...** He starts shyly, slowly. Looking for words to explain what's going on, although he doesn't know if he's allowed to share it. 

Steven raises his hands in front of him, palm towards him. Innocent with a light smile. 

- **It's my fault, I didn't warn you. No hard feelings?** He says so softly that Bruce breathes in with a nervous smile, 

**-I...Yes, I'm fine. I had a long day.** He says to compensate for the silence between them. 

Steve puts one hand on the counter with impressive calm and ambition. He seems so, at ease, Bruce is undecided whether it is his presence that calms the captain or the idea of not being alone. Either way, it's not looking so swell. 

- **Oh, you don't need to tell me again, I had one of those days. I'm finally happy to see a familiar face in the crowd.** He says honestly with a sigh, he begins to take a bottle of water from the fridge with ease. 

Suddenly, his gesture is stopped, Bruce observes the shape of his body which doesn't seem to move an inch.

The captain's voice is very cold and impatient as the words reach the air.

- **I am not infallible. Hurry.**

  
Bruce swallows his saliva sideways as Steven stands up. His body is straight, more calculated. 

- **What do you want?** Dare to ask Bruce between breaths. He shakes his hand against the marble countertop. The idea of knives a few steps away seems to tickle his mind. 

  
-T **hat...I am within a reasonable distance, there is no reason why you can't feel my presence.** He declares irritated, he glances vaguely at the room and then looks at Bruce in a heavy silence. 

**Fetch a walk outside. I'll find you then.** He ends like a concession, Steve doesn't seem so cold anymore as Bruce blinks a few times.

The warmth in the room seems to slowly return as he sees Steve's muscles relax. His gaze seems empty for a few seconds before life returns to his face. He looks at himself for a few seconds as Steve decides to hand him the bottle of water he has in his hand.

- **Are you sure you don't want one? This morning's session must have left you dehydrated.** He says comfortably with a little amused look,

Bruce is stunned by this moment. The way Steven acts as if nothing had happened.  
Didn't he feel possession? Doesn't he realize he's missing several seconds? Minutes even. Bruce is almost relieved, he doesn't seem to see that anything has just happened.

- **No...it's fine.** He says carefully, he pulls the corners of his mouth with a small voluntary raising of the eyebrow, I'm fine. 

  
He is not entirely convinced that Steve believes this. But that's not his biggest problem.

He seems to be flouting an excuse to get away, one that involves taking an apple from the kitchen island. He looks at the object with confusion as he walks down the hallway. He knows that doing what he has been told is risky, but his mind and body are eager to know. He lacks answers; he is confident that he will at least get one if he follows the instructions. He climbs the stairs fairly quickly for fear of missing his chance. He pushes the heavy door that allows him to finally feel the fresh air outside against his skin. 

  
He walks only a few seconds longer as his jacket hits the wind in a blunt sound. Bruce stops walking when he sees a familiar shape in the distance. 

He wonders if it will become a habit to see Loki from behind. Isn't there a rule about never allowing yourself to be on your back towards your enemies? Although Bruce is alarmed at the presence of the god, he has no idea why he seems so calm. Shame burns his chest. He can feel his nervousness as he reaches his left. He takes a silent breath of fresh air as Loki looks at him. Bruce can't help but tie his own hands in a panicky motion. He observes the view, feeling the god's gaze like fire against his skin. The anger, the pain is not as strong as his curiosity...for the moment.

  
- **Were you not alerted to my presence when I arrived?** Loki asks in a voice that is both confused and casual, **Should I assume that the beast is the only one who can detect my magic with ease?**

 **  
**Although Loki's presence on his right is most impressive. Bruce would not have thought that Loki's first words would shock him even more. Although he notices it silently, Hulk seems already present, observing the situation from deep within. Something he hadn't done all day yet. Words seem to find the deepest part of his ego, the heat waves that accumulate let Bruce think that Loki has tamed the Hulk. He doesn't know how, or what this alliance is. But he is too confused to answer.

Loki seems to take the opportunity to contemplate the silence. When his glance leaves his face, Bruce allows himself to look at Loki. The sun digs and illuminates every inch of his face, armor, and every shimmering strand of his hair. There is an aura of grace and royalty that Bruce cannot deny. Though it is of an arrogant strength.

 **-He...What?** he asks with a thick doubt that is transmitted in his voice, 

  
Loki raises his head to observe the view, although he doesn't seem worried about being spotted, Bruce feels the anxiety accelerating. 

  
- **The beast is instinctive, it seems to find me on the battlefield without any problem.** Says Loki with an arched eyebrow, although it's cordial to bother to explain it, Bruce cuts it off quickly. 

  
- **What do you want? Didn't anyone see that? Steve, is he going to feel any magic or side effects? Are you invisible?** He then asks for his voice to slide down a few octaves, he spits them out quickly. 

Loki now observes him in a cryptic silence.

- **Nothing a good night's sleep won't fix. As for my presence, we have a contract to finalize. My investigation has only just begun. I only have information on the beast for the moment. You are a man under surveillance, Dr. Banner. Act like one.**

  
Bruce straightens up from the reprimand, confused, he turns his face to the void. He feels aware of his surroundings, although he has seen a guard in the distance, he seems to be at his post. Bruce lets a small nervous laugh creep down his throat.

  
- **I didn't think you were going to honor your promise, they call you a liar.** He says with unnatural rapidity. He knows that this moment has obsessed him for a long time now. He knows that too many thoughts can destroy his chances of knowing. All right, the anger was still muffled, it was the only way he could justify this passive spike of aggression. 

  
- **How honorable, accepting a pact from a man whom one believes to be a liar. Tell me, is this the kind of sacrifice you make every day? In your little world of heroes. I don't know how long I will accept this dense ignorance.** He exhales air from his nostrils with a little amused sniff. **You're not a soldier, you call yourself a man of science. Does your science validate your points every time or do you choose not to accept the facts?**

Bruce is unaware of how the Hulk seems to want to end this conversation with his presence. Although Bruce feels that Loki does not appreciate the subject. He is only more intrigued.

  
- **I don't think I'll ever have enough information to make a judgment about you. But I'm going to suffer every step of the way.** he sighs, just realizing that he is being honest with Loki. 

Loki hum mindfully. 

- **You are different from your puny team.** He breathes it out in a similar honesty.

Bruce sniffs amused at the remark. 

- **No, not really. I'm just as lost as they are.**

- **Lost enough to allow this conversation to take place.** Reply Loki tactfully. **Keep your options open, survival is the priority. I don't have much time--**

 **-What did you do? Together.** Ask Bruce quickly so he doesn't lose his chance, 

Loki arches an eyebrow again, a slight recess in his mouth hollowed out in a grin. 

- **You have no idea, do you?** He seems so close to snickering, his voice is light and amused. **You're really two entities, he didn't lie.**

  
- **What? Y-You...Communicate together?** Ask Bruce to challenged by the absurd thought.

  
Loki inhaled with a little bit of an unimpressed huff.

- **As much as one can communicate with a child.** He replies sensitively. 

  
Bruce feels the wave of pain hit him head-on, Hulk listened closely.  
Loki seems to be watching him just as closely.

- **He...** Begins Bruce with convincing indecision, enough for Loki to take over the conversation,

- **Two not entirely distinct entities, fascinating Midgardian science.** Add the god with a mocking tone despite his analysis. 

Bruce feels his eyelid flutter at the intense focus on his person.   
He doesn't need that. He doesn't even know why he's having this discussion.  
He is certainly not destined to stay if he is only a toy for this god.

- **What do you want?** He says clearly followed by a clear throat clearing. 

Loki seems to quickly understand the situation as he soon becomes more calculated again. 

- **Just to express my displeasure. You are constantly being watched, I can't reach your agreement with so many eyes perched on your shoulder.**

  
Bruce laughs nervously, something that seems to surprise the god. 

  
- **Whose fault is that? I disappeared from the face of the earth, for so long that the authorities noticed. This is not what I call discreet. I am the one who has the right to complain. I have no idea what you made us do. And then get me locked up. And now, thanks to all this, I don't have access to any means of doing you a favor. I lost many things from this..Whatever this is.**

Although his voice is fast and wounded. He realizes that he moans his complaints without even thinking about whether the god is going to act out of boredom. He holds a grudge and shame only makes him more irritated. 

**I don't think you deserve the right to make demands.** He says in a slightly more composed voice, anger makes him calm and boiling. 

- **Is that all?** Blows Loki with an unimpressed look. Although he seems to be looking at him so intensely that Bruce is convinced it's some kind of test. And he's the champion. That look cries out to him for competition, the one that smells fast and awful. Loki seems to be testing limits, and although Bruce is stressed in this environment. He's not going to let him do it again. 

  
- **Come back when you've found a solution to our common problem. I don't want to be blamed for things that are your fault.** He says that he feels his body tense. He feels like he is made of kneadable metal. Hard and cold but stiff and straight. **I have endured enough.**

  
He is about to turn around when Loki whistles in the wind. Bruce feels his stomach churn at the only sound. **  
**

- **Are we telling the same story? I remember the prayers made towards me that spelled my name like a melody, while blood filled my mouth. That barely breathing was a lustful and strenuous thing. Tell me, Dr. Banner, do you think I bother with my enemies out of courtesy? I'm not here on a social visit. Your giant, he saved my life. But since I dismissed him, it hasn't been a walk in a spring-blooming field on my side. It's only been a few days since I've been available to reach your galaxy. To spare you the details.**

  
Bruce feels his pressure mounting, he ignores the fast numbers on his watch to turn his gaze back to Loki. Although he feels horrible, he can't gesticulate his anger for fear that the cameras might catch him as suspicious. So he grunts. 

  
- **How would I know? You're in a hurry, you're busy, you apparently prefer to call the shots with the equivalent of a parrot. Because he can't contradict you! He has no idea about the ethics of right and wrong. I'm sure it has served you well. But it is not a weapon! Even though he-he-he**. Bruce brings his hands to his face to get a few seconds of comfort. **We're not going anywhere with this.**

- **No, we're not.** Answers gently Loki with a pensive look. Despite looking like steel reincarnated.

 **-If you don't come up with a solution. You know where I am right now. I'm not in the mood. If you need him. You know what to do.** He says with a defeated look on his face, he doesn't look at Loki anymore. As he notices a distant familiar shape on the deck. 

  
- **As you wish.** He says softly that Bruce thinks he imagined it. He looks at the familiar shape of Steve in the distance. The only reason he knows the god has left is that there is only one fiery look at him now. That of the blond man with a worried smile. >>

  
Both terrified of what has just happened and exhausted. He lets the discussion with Steven remind him of some normality, although he often looks at the point where Loki had been tense a few minutes ago.

He looks down at the warm apple in his hand. Dealing with what just happened.

He notes that Steve was revealed only a minute or two after his watch alerted him to a heart-related alarm. He observes the captain with some willingness to believe this coincidence despite the realization that everything has changed.

He can't fight the feeling that they went past the point of no return. 


End file.
